Long Term Relationships

There are couples that stay together forever, that are still in love and are each other’s best friend. If life is an adventure to be shared, why is such an adventure so elusive to so many people?

That’s a question that I can’t answer. Approaching this from a man’s perspective, I can point out things that were missing in my relationships and collectively they could be the keys to a successful long term relationship.

1. Marry your best friend”, that’s the key many will say. Still it’s not without some complications. You may not be attractive to your best friend or maybe you’re afraid that if it doesn’t work out that you’ll lose your best friend. The “key” in this instance is that if you and your partner are not best friends one year into the relationship then it’s not going to work because the next “key” is dependent on you and your partner being best friends.

2. Trust, easy to say, hard to do. Trust is mutual, it’s two way or it’s not trust. Jealousy breeds from lack of trust. How do you know who has your back? Would they take care of you if you were sick? Respond in an emergency? You can’t follow someone’s advice if you don’t trust them? Could someone really be your best friend if you did not have mutual trust?

3. Financial Intimacy, bet you never heard that one. Think this works without mutual trust? Money issues drive divorce, even more so than infidelity. How can you bare your soul if you can’t bare your bank accounts, if you’re hiding spending? Why is it harder to say “ours” than it is to say “his and hers”?

These may not be the usual things mentioned in relationship seminars and I could be totally off base (after all I”m a dude) but the happiest long term couples I know, have made it big league with these “three keys”.

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